ZIP YOUR LIPS: Guarding Privacy In a Marriage

I wrote this article, which appeared in the May 2013 issue of SISTERS MAGAZINE. Please visit their website if you are interested in subscribing.

“You don’t understand me. Are you even listening to me? I feel like I’m talking to the wall. You never listen. You never pay attention to me. I can’t take this anymore.”
You run out of the room sobbing, grab your phone, dial your best friend, and in between sniffles and tears, begin to relay the previous conversation with your husband.
“You’ll never believe what he just did now!”

After a long, sleepless week caring for your sick child, your husband returns home from work early with a bouquet of your favourite flowers, a box of your favourite chocolates and a copy of the book you’ve been longing to read. “I’m ordering food for dinner tonight. I want you to take the night off, lock yourself in the library and enjoy your book,” he whispers in your ear.
Talk about surprised! After gushing over your much appreciated gifts, you run to call your bestie to share your excitement.

Let’s be honest, marriage is a difficult, fragile thing, full of hard work. It’s not always those clichés; a stroll in the park, or a garden of roses. It’s all too common to have arguments with your spouse. Men and women are two totally different types of people, operating, thinking and reacting to situations in different ways. Men tend to be more logical, thinking with their minds, whereas women tend to be more emotional, thinking with their hearts. Sometimes there are periods where you and your partner have to labour hard just to make it through the end of a day together.

The bad times
Divulging personal details (whether they’re good or bad) about our marriages isn’t a good idea and can cause major marital problems. Turning to another person during the difficult times can prove hazardous; we risk backbiting which is hated by Allah. Anas said: The Messenger of Allah, swt, said, "During the Mi'raj (the Night of Ascension), I saw a group of people who were scratching their chests and faces with their copper nails. I asked, 'Who are these people, O Jibril?' Jibril replied: 'These are the people who ate flesh of others (by backbiting) and trampled people's honour." (Abu Dawud)

We risk placing a wedge between ourselves and our spouse by seeking compassion and sympathy from someone else. Our friend may unintentionally sour our hearts towards our spouse by listening and advising with her heart and emotions, and not with her mind. As women, it’s all too easy to sympathise with our fellow sister when she’s hurting, and tell her what she wants to hear, rather than what she needs to hear.

The good times
It’s just as important not to be spilling the beans during the good times too. We don’t want to risk accidentally sparking a touch of jealousy, or worse still, envy, in our friends/relatives by gushing about how wonderful our man is. If your friend is going through a rough patch with her husband and you are bragging about all the good things your husband is doing for you, she could begin to compare the two men. Shaytan could creep into her mind, reminding her of how lucky you are, and how generous and attentive your husband is. Meanwhile, she is feeling like her husband is lacking compared to yours.

No nosing!
It’s not always our own marriages we need to guard. Protecting the privacy of others’ marriage is just as important. The Prophet, swt, said, "Do not try to pry into the private affairs of other people, nor go after the secret affairs of other people. Do not find fault with others. Do not undo the business dealings of others. Do not be jealous of one another. Do not have grudges against others. Do not indulge in backbiting. All people should live like brothers.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

How often have we sensed a problem with our sister, automatically assumed it was marriage-related and begun to interrogate her? Allah I tells us in the Qur’an, “O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.” (Al-Hujurat:12).

Other times, your best friend or close sister comes to you complaining about an issue with her husband or in her marriage. It’s good to be a supportive and caring friend; however, there are boundaries. When it comes to a marriage, the less the details shared the better.

What are the solutions or ways to protect your own marriage? During an argument when you see things are getting out of control, cool your temper by running to make wudhu and praying two rakat. You can prevent harsh, hurtful words to be spewed out in the heat of the moment. Don’t turn to a best friend or parent, or anyone else; turn to Allah. Read the Qur’an, make astaghfar (seek forgiveness) and do your best to strengthen your deen and your relationship with Allah. In times of good, it’s nice to say positive things and be appreciative regarding our husband. We can do it tactfully without all the gooey details. Simply say ‘Alhamdulillah, my husband is generous, or helpful, or considerate,’ and leave it at that.

Protect others’ marriage by not accepting details from your friends and family if they begin to divulge too much. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be supportive, it just means that you set limits or barriers on what you consider is acceptable to hear. Encourage her to seek relief in Allah. Recite Qur’an or quote hadiths as a helping tool. Try to lighten the mood by changing the subject and focusing on a topic she enjoys. Never backbite or slander her husband. If she is happy and begins sharing about a recent good deed he’s done, interrupt her by saying ‘I’m sure whatever he did is so lovely, and I wouldn’t want to ruin that by knowing about it too. Isn’t it nice to keep special secrets between each other?’ Be sweet and polite, but remind her that privacy in marriage is always better than sharing.

When to share
If abuse is occurring in the marriage, then it’s time to seek outside help. Turn to an Imam or a marriage counsellor who is qualified to give assistance. Also, it would be a good idea to make sure the person is unbiased and has no connection to your husband or yourself. Abuse isn’t just physical; it can be emotional too in the form of verbal abuse. Hearing continual put-downs and insults can be harmful to your self-esteem and your mental health. If your husband is beginning to not practice Islam this is also a serious matter that could constitute outside help. Skipping salats, missing days of fasting for no acceptable reason etc. and not giving your or your family their rights can affect not only you, but your family as well. If children are involved, he could become a bad example for them. By seeking outside help, you have a different perspective which could help mediate between you and your spouse.

We are social people, and need companionship. It’s natural and normal for women to want to share with each other, to vent, to release some stress and burdens. When it comes to openly sharing details about our marriages, we should practice a little more tact. If we must comment on our marriage, simple, terse answers are always best. It’s OK to ask for du’a or to admit when times are rough, just as it’s alright to be happy when times are good. The key to guarding privacy in a marriage is to confide in our Creator, not the creation.

Zahirah Elsayed is a wife and mother of three. She loves cats, all things bright and colourful, and cheeseburgers. Her goal is to become a published writer, and to open a women’s shelter for Muslims in the United States. She reverted to Islam 4 years ago. Allahu Akbar!

Muslim Women Converts Say "We Are Not Brainwashed" by: Theresa Corbin

PLEASE NOTE: I DID NOT WRITE THIS! This was written by Theresa Corbin and featured in Yahoo Voices. To see the article in it's original form, please click the Yahoo link.

Muslim Women Converts Say "We Are Not Brainwashed" by: Theresa Corbin

Recently, news stories about the deceased Boston Bombing suspect's wife, Katherine Russell Tsarnaev, abound. Reports speculate about her life and her choice to become Muslim.

The media, to its credit, have run some stories from the Muslim women's perspective, but by and large they are portraying Katherine, and women like her, as having been forced to convert to Islam.

Many news outlets are trying to portray Katherine as some sort of weak woman who fell into the hands of an overpowering force and was brainwashed straight out of Christianity and in the hijab, Islam, and the arms of a terrorist. They absolutely ignore the possibility that Katherine may have converted after much soul searching and reflection done of her own free will.

"She was a very sweet woman, but I think kind of brainwashed by him," said the Huffington Post, quoting Anne Kilzer, from Belmont, Mass., who claimed to have known Russell and her daughter.

When a woman in the West converts to Islam, it is always assumed that she has been coerced. Why else would she leave her life full of every imaginable freedom, right? She must have converted for a man, she must have been brainwashed, or she must have been at gun point.

The truth of the matter is that in the richest countries in the world, people, having all their physical needs and wants met, are still feeling something missing on a spiritual level.

To say that someone who has found spiritual fulfillment in one of the world's largest religion has been brainwashed is just insulting. It is a roundabout way of saying that women who convert to Islam are weak minded.

This is not the case by a long shot. Women who convert to Islam are typically outspoken, well-mannered, well-educated, well-informed, and conscious of their moral obligations to others.

When I converted to Islam, the sister who was giving me shahada (the statement of faith) asked me why I was converting. She asked me twice if I was doing it for any person or felt forced to do it in anyway. "Because," she said "if you say that you believe and someone made you say it, your faith would not be accepted from you. Allah knows what is in your heart."

So let's see what it really means to be brainwashed. According to merriam-webster.com, brainwashing is a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas.

How is it then that in Islam your faith will not be accepted from you unless you are sincere? Sincerity cannot be coerced. It is like saying you were forced to fall in love; it just doesn't work that way.

And where is the follow up to the brainwashing? In order to sustain a state of "brainwashing," you also must isolate the subject from the outside world. You don't see this with Muslim converts. They go on to study at universities; work as teachers, scientists, military personnel, journalists and so on; do charity work; they are politically active, and motivated to be productive members of society.

With headlines like "Islam is Fastest Growing Religion in the United States" from the U.S. Department of Defense -- and many more like it -- journalists are scrambling to find a reason for so many people entering Islam in the West.

Women convert to Islam for a million reasons, none of them having anything to do with coercion.

Muslim women who have converted all over the world are standing up and rejecting the media's portrayal of them as feeble minded or weak. "We can speak for ourselves. And we will." says a Muslim American convert who joined a "We are not brainwashed" campaign on Facebook in support of Russell Tsarnaev's choice to become Muslim.

One Muslim American convert from the Facebook group says, "I am a Muslim now for 10 years, alhamduliAllah (All thanks and praises are due to God). I was raised a Baptist Christian in a southern family from South Carolina. I reverted at the age of 15 all on my own free will."

Another Muslim convert from Oklahoma says, "I married a wonderful Muslim man who never forced anything on me! If I had questions he would answer them, but never more than that. He would secretly make dua'a (supplication) for me to become Muslim. Seven years later I did it on my own without him even knowing."

In a time when women have more choices than ever, some women are choosing Islam. And they are starting to demand respect for this choice.

Published by Theresa Corbin
Theresa Anne Corbin holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Literature from the University of South Alabama. She is a freelance writer, a terrible photographer, an award winning poet, and a notorious smar... View profile at Yahoo.

Here I Am

by: Zahirah Elsayed




Prostrating in the quiet dark I’m finally able to exhale the day’s events. With a deep sigh I release all the tension, stress, worries and struggles. I close my eyes and turn to Al- Wakil, (the ultimate trustee, the disposer of affairs) handing over my burdens with relief and confidence in Ar-Razzarq (the provider). As my forehead rests on the floor like a child’s resting on her mother’s lap, I seek refuge in Ar-Rauf (the most kind). My heart overflows with gratefulness and love to Ar-Rashid (the guide) for uncovering my eyes, softening my heart, revealing the truth of His religion, and for placing me on the straight path. Allahu Akbar! Tears stream down my face as I repent to Al-Gaffar (the forgiver). My life and my world belongs to Ar-Rahman (the compassionate), Ar-Rahim (the merciful).

A Letter to the Culture that Raised Me by Yasmin Mogahed

Growing up, you read me the Ugly Duckling. And for years I believed that was me. For so long you taught me I was nothing more than a bad copy of the standard (men).

I couldn’t run as fast or lift as much. I didn’t make the same money and I cried too often. I grew up in a man’s world where I didn’t belong.

And when I couldn’t be him, I wanted only to please him. I put on your make-up and wore your short skirts. I gave my life, my body, my dignity, for the cause of being pretty. I knew that no matter what I did, I was worthy only to the degree that I could please and be beautiful for my master. And so I spent my life on the cover of Cosmo and gave my body for you to sell.

I was a slave, but you taught me I was free. I was your object, but you swore it was success. You taught me that my purpose in life was to be on display, to attract, and be beautiful for men. You had me believe that my body was created to market your cars. And you raised me to think I was an ugly duckling. But you lied.

Islam tells me, I’m a swan. I’m different – it’s meant to be that way. And my body, my soul, was created for something more.
God says in the Qur’an, “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” (49:13)

So I am honored. But it is not by my relationship to men. My value as a woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and piety. And my purpose in life – despite what the fashion magazines say – is something more sublime than just looking good for men.

And so God tells me to cover myself, to hide my beauty and to tell the world that I’m not here to please men with my body; I’m here to please God. God elevates the dignity of a woman’s body by commanding that it be respected and covered, shown only to the deserving – only to the man I marry.

So to those who wish to ‘liberate’ me, I have only one thing to say: “Thanks, but no thanks.”

I’m not here to be on display. And my body is not for public consumption. I will not be reduced to an object, or a pair of legs to sell shoes. I’m a soul, a mind, a servant of God. My worth is defined by the beauty of my soul, my heart, my moral character. So, I won’t worship your beauty standards, and I don’t submit to your fashion sense. My submission is to something higher.

With my veil I put my faith on display – rather than my beauty. My value as a human is defined by my relationship with God, not by my looks. I cover the irrelevant. And when you look at me, you don’t see a body. You view me only for what I am: a servant of my Creator.

You see, as a Muslim woman, I’ve been liberated from a silent kind of bondage. I don’t answer to the slaves of God on earth. I answer to their King.

Things that will draw you closer to Allah

This is from an article in Al-Jumuah magazine, volume 18, issue 02 (March 2006).

-Begin your day with the salah of Fajr, follow it with the morning rememberances and supplications, and then get off to work.
-Read the Quran ever day; read with observing not just passing your eyes through the words.
-Offer the salat of adh-dhuha (mid-morning). Brighten your day by offering salat in the mesjid.
-If someone says something mean to you, shrug it off and dismiss it in a friendly, laidback manner, and pray that Allah shall forgive them.
-When you get angry, change your position- sit or lay down. Seek refuge with Allah from Shayton, try to do something productive- busy your mind.
-When you are happy, try to share your happiness with others. Remember Allah and thank Him by sharing it with those close to you. Do something good.
-When something bad or embarrassing happens to you, thank Allah, remember that it is not worse.
-Do something extra of goodness once in a while, like feeding a poor person, or caressing an orphan's head.
-Never stop believing that you can win Allah's love and thus work for it.
-Spend some time thinking of Allah's amazing creation.
-Always love those who love Allah unconditionally. This way you will ensure that you live for Him, love for Him.
-Find the righteous ways to express yourself, and if you think that what you are about to say will yield no benefit, maintain silence.
-Every now and then, give yourself a break. Play sports, give time to your family, friends, but always remember Allah and know that He is watching you.
-Hug your parents, kiss their hands and heads and always obey but stop at Allah's orders.
-Smile to everyone, for your smiles makes a big difference to him or her and you are rewarded.
-Forgive, forget and smile.
-When people criticize your actions and efforts, revise your actions and see if they please Allah or not. If they do; then ignore and remember how the Prophet, pbuh, and his companions were critisized, made fun of and even physically harmed, so have patience.
-Don't let popularity go to your head, for it never lasts and you may lose from it more than gain.
-Never look down on anybody, for, to Allah, they may be better than you.
-PUT ALLAH FIRST IN YOUR LIFE!

More articles from Al-Jumuah magazine can be viewed. Insha'Allah (Allah willing) we will strive daily to be closer to Him.

Sharia Law: What is it and Why is it so feared?

Lately there's been a big fuss over Sharia Law. But the people who are making the fuss about it obviously don't understand it or know anything about it, or they wouldn't be complaining and causing such commotion over it. I will never understand why anything unknown is assumed horrible. Are we really such a lazy nation that we would rather make assumptions and let the media tell us how and what we should think about different things instead of finding the truth ourselves? We're becoming a nation very similar to that found in the book 1984 by George Orwell. Why anyone would allow themselves to be told what to think and feel about issues, people, etc is beyond me. Sharia Law is nothing to be feared, or hated.

The word sharia comes from the Arabic root word shary meaning to make laws. No sharia laws have been made by man. They are all revealed to us through the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, and can be found in the Quran and also in the teachings and actions of the Prophet, pbuh. Wikipedia explains in major detail about sharia law, the countries that follow it, and much more. This is a good article explaining what's going on now in the US and how our country is dealing with the issue of sharia and also a little history of sharia.

Why fear Sharia law? Allah says in the Quran "O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result." Quran 4: 59 Note He said to "follow those in authority among you." Yes, as Muslims we are called to follow and obey Allah and His commands, but we are ordered to follow the 'law of the land' or whoever is in charge. As far as the second part of the ayat is concerned, it is referring to individual disagreements. In the time of the revelation of the Quran, there was no court systems in Arabia, so matters would be taken to tribal leaders. Allah was saying go to the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, because he was receiving Allah's laws which is the Quran. You will not find a scholar or imam, or religious leader who is truly following Islam who will tell you it is acceptable to go against the laws of the country in which you are living. This is obviously unacceptable or Islam would be encouraging lawbreaking and self-governing.

Sharia law holds people strictly accountable for their deeds and actions. Sheikh Siraj Wahhaj spoke on this topic last year during an Islamic convention. Please check it out to better understand Sharia Law. Any mistakes are made from the men and women who interpret the laws, and not by Allah Who created them as Allah knows better than us what is best for us. Not to mention, Allah is perfect and incapable of making mistakes. Sharia is nothing to be feared.

With Hardships Come Ease: A test of Patience

We all go through patches of rough times. It's easy to be overwhelmed during difficult times and let the circumstances blind us of the bigger picture. We become the professional pessimist, capable of picking out the tiniest negatives and often overlooking or even completely missing the positives. Trials and difficulties are inevitable. Allah tells us this in the Quran. It's how we react during the difficult times, and how we handle the situations that matters.

We've all heard the saying 'Jennah isn't free.' Think about it. If everything in this life on earth was always easy, happy, smooth and blessed, what would make us yearn for an eternity in Jennah? It's through these struggles and hardships that Allah reminds us of the bigger picture; Jennah. "Did you think that you would enter Heaven without Allah testing those of you who fought hard (in His cause) and remained steadfast?" Quran 3:142 "Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said," When is the help of Allah?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near." Quran 2:214 "And We will surely test you until We make evident those who strive among you [for the cause of Allah] and the patient, and We will test your affairs." Quran 47:31 "For such the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath,- an eternal dwelling: How excellent a recompense for those who work (and strive)!" Quran 3:136

The main key to successfully getting through difficult times is by being patient, as Allah has made very clear in the Quran. "Except for those who are patient and do righteous deeds; those will have forgiveness and great reward." Quran 11:11 "Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home." Quran 13:24 "O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere." Quran 2:153

Reflect on those before us and their trials. Abraham's commitment to Allah and willingness to sacrifice his son. Moses' struggles with Pharaoh, leading the people out of Egypt through the desert, only to have them turn to idol worshiping. Noah's obedience to build and ark while all the towns people were calling him insane and mocking him. Then having to leave his son behind because of his disbelief. Muhammad (saw) having to live everyday watching his back for assassins among his neighbors and even family. Summayah, ra, who was the first martyr in Islam, being tortured to death for her beliefs. Reflect on those around the world now and their trials. People of Palestine and Syria who are faced with violence and oppression daily. Remembering these people puts our struggles in perspective. Many of us are so blessed. We must be careful to recognize it and to thank Allah.

Make dikr (remember Allah) often. Call on Him by His beautiful names. Make supplications or duaa to Allah. The Prophet, saw, said 'Allah is Ever Generous and shy if a servant raises his hand to Him, to return them vacant.' At-Tirmidhi 3/179 Thank Him for our blessings. Become the optimist during times of hardships and pain. Dwell on the good. Fight to make the best of the situation you are in. Struggling with money? Use it as a way to pull your family closer together insha'Allah. Include everyone, especially kids, to be creative in ways to save money and survive on less. Your kids will feel special for being involved, it will add more responsibility to them, and help them realize the value of money, and put perspective on what is genuinely important, and what are just unnecessary wants. Struggling with family members, co-workers, neighbors, or even friends? Turn to hadiths. There's no better example of how to deal with hostility and turmoil among family or neighbors than from the Prophet, saw. Struggling with infertility? Look to Ayisha, ra, and other positive role models in Islam. Seek Allah's guidance and think outside of the box. Be a mentor, become a woman scholar, write positive, educational books for muslimahs, use your voice to further Allah's religion. Volunteer in orphanages, children's hospitals, etc.

This short little video made by another muslimah is a perfect example of what I've been trying to say. Insha'Allah please watch it.

Allah promises us in the Quran "For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship]. And to your Lord direct [your] longing." Quran 94:5-8 "And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion." Quran 65:3 "That is the Command of Allah, which He has sent down to you: and if any one fears Allah, He will remove his ills, from him, and will enlarge his reward." Quran 65:5 There is no better comfort than the promise of the Lord of the alamin.

I Am That Hijab

There's an overwhelming interest in hijab. Most of my page views are from people searching 'hijab.' Because of this, I was doing a little search of my own, found this lovely poem and wanted to share it.

Jesus spoke of Prophet Muhammad's coming?

There's some controversy surrounding this discovery. Whenever it's from, it's still fun and interesting. Take it to mean whatever you want. Personally, I don't need any other documents, writings, etc. convincing me of the truth of Islam. I have the Quran.
Check out this link to read about a bible discovered in Turkey.

What Does the Bible Say? Bet you didn't know

He has sent down upon you, [O Muhammad], the Book in truth, confirming what was before it. And He revealed the Torah and the Gospel. Quran 3:3

The more I read the Bible (gasp... can you believe it, a muslim reading the Bible? It's true, we do read the Bible, and why wouldn't we? After all, many of the great prophets' teachings and accounts are inside, as well as God's teachings. As you can see from the ayat above from the Quran, we do believe Allah revealed books to Moses and Jesus.) the more convinced I am of the truth of Islam. (By the way, the meaning of Islam, as I've mentioned before, is submitting to God's Will, so of course it's going to be true. How can submitting to God be anything other than truth?) I would like to share some verses I've found that supports why we as muslims do what we do. Not only is it found in the Quran, but also the Bible.

christmas trees forbidden: Jeremiah 10:2-4 "This is what the Lord says: 'Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the sky, though the nations are terrified by them. For the customs of the people are worthless; they cut a tree out of the forest, and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel. They adorn it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so it will not totter.'" It's very obvious here that God is making it very clear to avoid any customs or traditions of other religions. Putting a tree in your house and decorating it was a tradition of the pagans.

women covering their head/hair: 1 Corinthians 11:5-6 "And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head- it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head."

remembering God constantly: Deuteronomy 6:4-9 "Hear O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." Because of this decree, many people wrote Bible verses on pieces of paper and placed them inside a wooden box hung by their door. This was called a mezuzah. Upon entering or exiting their homes, they would touch the box as a reminder to obey God. As muslims, we do similar. When leaving we say either silently or in a whisper "In the name of Allah, I have placed my trust in Allah, there is no power or might except by Allah." When entering we say "In the name of Allah, we enter." Also, we remember Allah throughout the day continually, as prescribed in this verse by saying "In the name of Allah" before we eat, drink, sleep, read, etc. We also silently repeat praises to Allah such as "Allah is the greatest, glorified is Allah, praise Allah, there is no god except Allah, and none worthy of worship and praise but Allah" as well as ask forgiveness for mistakes we've made by repeating "forgive me Allah". There are many more phrases repeated. It's just a good reminder for us that Allah is ever present, that we are ever accountable for our actions and words, and that Allah is most merciful and provides for us continually 24/7.

do not eat pork: Deuteronomy 14:8 "The pig is also unclean; although it has a split hoof, it does not chew the cud. You are not to eat their meat or touch their carcasses."

proof of the well/ natural spring zumzum in Saudi Arabia: Genesis 21:19 "Then God opened her (Hagar, concubine of Abraham) eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy (Ishmael) a drink." This is the story of Hagar and her son Ishmael. She was abandoned in the desert with her son, and after the little water they had was gone, Allah provided her with a spring. To this day the spring is still producing water. It's located in Mecca, Saudi Arabia near the Kabba, where all muslims pray in the direction of.

As you can see, Islam, Christianity, and the Jewish religions are very closely intertwined. Please see my previous posting 'Salat/Prayer' for examples about washing before praying, as well as how to pray. I'm sure there are many more scriptural evidences to support Islam's actions and beliefs, but this is what I've found so far.

I want to share an ayat in the Quran revealed to the prophet Mohammad, pbuh, regarding our religions. I think it's about time to focus on the similarities and not the differences.

Say, "We have believed in Allah and in what was revealed to us and what was revealed to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Descendants, and in what was given to Moses and Jesus and to the prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and we are Muslims [submitting] to Him." Quran 3:840

Violence in Quran?

It's very sad to hear and see many people spread their misunderstandings of Islam. It's like the game telephone/ gossip. One person whispers something to another and yet another and by the end of game the original phrase has been completely warped. The so-called 'experts' on Islam are no more experts than an illiterate person on how to read. Just because someone has lived in a certain area for a few years, or because they've read several books (except the one book that really counts, which is the Quran) doesn't mean they are qualified to be called or considered an expert on a religion they aren't following or practicing. I keep saying this over and over again, but it can't be said enough. Would you turn to an encyclopedia to learn about Christianity? Would you seek the guidance of a Christian to learn all about the religion of Buddhism? Why then, are people accepting what Christians, atheists and Jews are saying about Islam as accurate and true? Pick up a Quran and start reading all of it, not just a phrase here and there. Or click the link to the right to read the Quran online.

I will attempt to explain the actual meaning of a few verses of the Quran that are so often misquoted, misunderstood and taken out of context. I would prefer that you listen to this explanation by sheikh Yusuf Estes. It is about 40 minutes long. If one is going to make arguments and accusations against an entire religion, I would hope gathering facts would be an important first step. In the grand scheme of things, 40 minutes isn't very long. However I know a lot of you won't listen, so I will do my best, God willing, to explain.

Jihad is often understood to mean the killing of anyone not practicing Islam by muslims who do so in the name of Allah. As I've mentioned in previous blogs (please see my post, 'Food for Thought') there are many meanings of jihad and many types of jihad. The word itself means struggle. To take up arms and physically fight for the sake of Allah is just one example, yet this has rules and regulations that must be carefully followed to be acceptable. This word is often thrown around by media and by 'experts', yet is not common in the Quran and the two most popular verses that people use as an example of jihad don't even contain the word jihad in them.
Transliteration is the pronunciation of arabic written out as it sounds. If you click here you can see the verse written out in transliteration so you can see for yourself the word jihad is never mentioned.

Quran 9:36
Sahih International: (english translation)
Indeed, the number of months with Allah is twelve [lunar] months in the register of Allah [from] the day He created the heavens and the earth; of these, four are sacred. That is the correct religion, so do not wrong yourselves during them. And fight against the disbelievers collectively as they fight against you collectively. And know that Allah is with the righteous [who fear Him].


These are other very popular verses which are misinterpreted. During the time of the Prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him, tribal leaders served as governmental officials, and controlled cities, towns, villages. In Islam, it is mandatory for all capable muslims to perform Hajj, which is a pilgrimage to the Kabaa in Mecca. After several years of attempting to make pilgrimage, the main tribe, Quraysh, would prohibit muslims from entering Mecca. Often times the pilgrims were robbed, some were killed, and others were taken captive as slaves. Allah forbade any pilgrims from retaliating and fighting. Finaly, after 12 years, Muhammad, pbuh, signed a treaty called Hudaybiyyah with the tribes allowing pilgrims to return to Mecca to perform their pilgrimage for 3 days. However, as the time got closer for the muslims to travel to Mecca, they began to worry that they would be turned away yet again. So Allah revealed these verses to Mohammad, pbuh, giving them permission to retaliate and fight ONLY if the Quraysh initiated. These verses refer to the Quraysh, not to Jews and Christians as is so often misquoted.

Quran 2:190-194
Sahih International: (verse 109)
Fight in the way of Allah those who fight you but do not transgress. Indeed. Allah does not like transgressors.
(verse 191)
And kill them wherever you overtake them and expel them from wherever they have expelled you, and fitnah is worse than killing. And do not fight them at al-Masjid al- Haram until they fight you there. But if they fight you, then kill them. Such is the recompense of the disbelievers.
(verse 192)
And if they cease, then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
(verse 193)
Fight them until there is no [more] fitnah and [until] worship is [acknowledged to be] for Allah . But if they cease, then there is to be no aggression except against the oppressors.
(verse 194)
[Fighting in] the sacred month is for [aggression committed in] the sacred month, and for [all] violations is legal retribution. So whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is with those who fear Him.

I'm sure you've heard that Islam is the religion of peace. Indeed this is true. Here are just a few examples of Allah ordering us all to be peaceful. Is it logical that there would be so many verses about peace, yet the religion itself would be violent? Not likely.

Quran 2:224
Sahih International:
And do not make [your oath by] Allah an excuse against being righteous and fearing Allah and making peace among people. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing.

Quran 25:63
Sahih International:
And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace,

Quran 28:55
Sahih International:
And when they hear ill speech, they turn away from it and say, “For us are our deeds, and for you are your deeds. Peace will be upon you; we seek not the ignorant.”

Quran 49:11
Sahih International:
O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.

Quran 29:46
Sahih International:
And do not argue with the People of the Scripture[Christians] except in a way that is best, except for those who commit injustice among them, and say, “We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you. And our God and your God is one; and we are Muslims [in submission] to Him.”

Doesn't sound very violent and horrific, does it? As you can see, the violence happening across the world isn't coming from Islam, or the Quran. It's coming from misguided people. I would hope none of us hold an entire religion, country, culture, etc. accountable for what a few people do. Hatred and violence is never acceptable, especially in Islam. As educated, sophisticated people, it's obvious you can't just cut and paste words, phrases, and verses from the Quran, or any book for that matter, and use it as an example of how people believe and live. Please don't add to the falsities. Speak of what you know, be silent of what you don't, and be careful of what you're unsure. On the day of judgement, not only will we be held accountable for our actions, but also for our words. It's always better to be safe than sorry.

Salat (Prayer)

Not many people know or acknowledge the fact there are several verses in the Bible that correlate with the followings of Muslims in salat. Islam is a mere extention of Christianity, so not surprisingly, there are many examples of all the prophets practicing their religion the same way Muslims do today. (FYI: We as muslims believe all the prophets were muslims, including Jesus, because the word muslim simply means 'one who submits to the will of God.)

One of the main duties in Islam is salat, or as it's commonly refered, prayer. However, salat isn't just prayer, it's an act of worship. Muslims are called to prayer five times a day by the athan. The words of the athan are 'Allah/God is greatest(4x), I bear witness that there is no god but Allah/God(2x), I bear witness that Muhammad is Allah's/God's messenger(2x), come to salat(2x), come to salvation(2x), Allah/God is greatest(2x), there is no god except Allah/God(2x)' This is a short video of a journalist who traveled to Jeddah, Saudi Arabia where she was introduced to the athan. Here is another small video of the athan being called in Egypt.

During salat the women must dress modestly, wear hijab (headscarf), cover their arms, and wear a long, loose skirt. Men must wear loose clothing and long shirt to avoid exposing skin while prostrating. Both men and women do not wear shoes. In Exodus 3:5 Allah said to Musa (Moses) "Don't come any closer! Take off your sandals because this place where you are standing is holy ground." Joshua 5:15 "The commander of the Lord's army replied, 'Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy. And Joshua did so." Before each salat, Muslims make wudu or ablution. This is the process of using water to wash your hands, arms, face, mouth, and feet. In Exodus 40: 30-32 it says "He (Musa) placed the basin between the tent of meeting and the altar and put water in it for washing, and Moses and Aaron and his sons used it to wash their hands and feet. They washed whenever they entered the tent of meeting or approached the altar, as the Lord commanded Moses."

Muslims pray in different positions during salat as commanded in the Quran, and as examples are given in the Bible. We bow, pray on our knees, and prostrate. "Oh you who believe! Bow down and prostrate yourselves and serve your Lord, and do good that you may prosper." Quran 22:77 In Genesis 17:3 "Immediately, Abram bowed with his face touching the ground, and again God spoke to him..." Genesis 17:17 "Immediately, Abraham bowed with his face touching the ground..." Numbers 20:6 "Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting. Immediately, they bowed with their faces touching the ground, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them..." Daniel 6:10 "... Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks go his God..." Matthew 26:39 "He (Jesus) went on a little farther and fell face down on the ground, praying..."

During this special time, we recite specific chapters and verses from the Quran, as well as seek forgiveness from Allah. Muslims perform salat in the direction of the Kabbah in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. (The Kaabah was built by Ibrahim and his son Ishmael.) Check out this link to see a very short video of people performing salat at the Kaabah. Salat is essential because it helps us remember and focus on what is most important in our lives: obedience, rememberence, and worship of Allah. This article explains well the importance of salat as well as it's purpose. More detail of salat can be found here.

Salat is important and must not be missed if at all possible, no matter where we are or what we are doing, as can be seen by these people in Cairo, Egypt during the revolution. After all, Allah has blessed us with so much, we must thank Him and remember Him often. Taking at least 10 minutes out of our day 5 times a day is the least we can do.

Below are pictures of Muslims all around the world performing salat.

Fundamentalist Muslim?

Almost everywhere you listen today you hear the very common phrase 'fundamentalist muslim.' I started wondering what exactly that means, and why is there always a huge negative connotation associated with those two words? The first place I turned to was the dictionary where I made a surprising discovery.
fundamental- serving as, or being an essential part of, a foundation or basis; basic; underlying
fundamentalism- 1. (sometimes initial capital letter) a movement in American Protestantism that arose in the early part of the 20th century in reaction to modernism and that stresses the infallibility of the Bible not only in matters of faith and morals but also as a literal historical record, holding as essential to Christian faith belief in such doctrines as the creation of the world, the virgin birth, physical resurrection, atonement by the sacrificial death of Christ, and the Second Coming.
2.the beliefs held by those in this movement.
3.strict adherence to any setof basic ideas or principles
So at one time the word fundamentalism was associated with Christianity, and those who felt passionate about upholding the original religious teachings. Interesting that it's used now by people who favor, or follow Christianity as a way to negatively describe muslims.

I started thinking about the Prophets, peace be upon them, and realized something pretty powerful. All the Prophets were fundamentalists. Their main purpose in life was to submit to God's Will, not their peers' will. Abraham, (Ibrihim), peace be upon him, denounced the practice of idol worshiping when it was common and widely practiced among his people. Later, he proved his obediance to God again when he was willing to sacrifice his own son. Fundamentalist! Noah, peace be upon him, built the ark and waited about 350 years for the floods to come. Meanwhile he was ridiculed, outcast, and viewed as the most insane person. Yet he submitted to God's Will, and remained patient and faithful. As the floods came, he even left his son behind in order to obey God. Fundamentalist! Moses (Mousa), peace be upon him, challenged one of the most powerful rulers (pharoah) in order to follow God's Will. He endured many obsticles and challenges. Leaving his hometown and leading an entire population through the desert to safety wasn't easy, to put it lightly, and at any minute he could have thrown his hands up and said 'I give up.' Yet he remained faithful and obedient. Fundamentalist! Jesus (Isa), peace be upon him, was outcast by the very group of people he was sent to guide. The Jews denounced him and plotted against him. However, his goal was to follow God's Will. He was even willing to sacrifice his body as a sign of dedication to God. Fundamentalist! Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was teaching peace while people were plotting to kill him, throwing trash on his back as he was praying, leaving garbage on his doorstep. He spoke God's words proudly, and did not hesitate even when what was being said was very unpopular. Fundamentalist!

These 'fundamental muslims' are only people that strive to live their lives submitting to God's Will and obeying God. Anyone who follows a belief without the concern of the opinions of others around them could be described as a fundamentalist.

So what's all the fuss about? Why verbaly prosecute people whose only goal is to obey and submit to God? Take a look at present day western society. It's all about self-satisfaction and putting your needs before anyone else's. It's become a selfish, self-serving, materialistic era. Happiness depends on what you have and keeping up with and outdoing those around you. You have money and power? Then obviously you're the happiest person on earth. Yet if you ask those who have the money and power if they're happy, and they answer you honestly, the majority would say no. Why? Because materialistic things come and go. Everything materialistic has a shelf-life. Clothes, cars, video games, computers, etc. all may be 'in' for a while, but eventualy something better comes along. So it's a never-ending cycle of getting and replacing. The satisfaction or happiness that comes from owning these things is temporary. There's always going to be something out there better than what you have. People who do not place their happiness on consumerism are a threat and a danger, both financialy and ideologicaly.

Muslims believe it's ok to have nice things, but it's not important. What IS important is learning your religion, living your life in a pleasing way to God, submitting your life to God, and obeying Him. These 'fundamental muslims' are living this way. They seek what's good and best not only for themselves, but for those around them. They are selfless and generous, asking themselves 'Do I really need a new pair of shoes or would my money be put to a better use? Is it more important that I upgrade to the latest model of phone, or that I help my neighbor get new tires for his car? Or help my family member pay a bill.' The 'modern Islam' that's also becoming a popular phrase is a mixture of western culture and Islamic teachings. They take what they like from culture and combine it with what they like from the religion. In the process, compromises are being made. God didn't say anywhere in the Quran that what was good and right for the people during the time of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was eventually going to become outdated and no longer applicable for generations to come. Instead He said "...This day, those who disbelieved have given up all hope of your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me. This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam (total submission to God) as your religion. ..." Quran 5:3 A perfect religion never expires or needs modified or adapted.

Islam teaches balance. It's more than ok to have nice things, to have fun, etc. But to place your happiness on possesions is not good. Islam teaches the value of the afterlife. This life on earth is temporary and wasting it on materialism is unacceptable. Instead, it's prefered to seek what's most beneficial not only in this life, but the hereafter... God's pleasure in you. If you sincerely do something pleasing to God, then in return He will reward you on the Day of Judgement.

Being a fundamentalist shouldn't be considered a horrible thing. In fact, when you consider all the great prophets, peace be upon them, it should be an honor. So next time you hear the phrase 'fundamental muslims' please turn off the tv or radio, close the paper or magazine, or correct the person saying it. There's nothing wrong with following your beliefs especially if it's not popular. God is above all else, and He is the One we will answer to in the end. I would hope that everyone sees the significance in submitting to God's Will, and not to their peer's will. Perhaps what the world needs is a few more 'fundamentalists.'

The Beauty of Polygyny

Some may see the words beauty and polygyny together in the same sentence and think this is an oxymoron, but I disagree. I'm going to attempt to explain the wisdom and benefits behind polygyny. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but there are enough examples and stories of the negative aspects. I'm just sticking with the positive. (Just a quick reminder... polygyny isn't something new that Islam started. Many people in the Bible practiced it such as Solomon, David, even Abraham, as well as many others.)

First of all, as I've explained in previous posts, women in Islam are to be valued and cherished above all others. Narrated by Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet, pbuh, said: ‘Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.’ Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 628 Women have rights over the men in their family which is to have shelter, food, clothing, and protection, as well as to be respected and treated kindly and fairly. This is the duty of her father, brother, uncles, grandfathers and then once she is married, her husband. This needs to be understood very well before going on to the topic of co-wives.

Allah revealed in the Quran the approval to marry up to four women at one time. However, He made it very clear that if it's not possible to provide for them fairly and justly, then only one is permissible. "If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one." Quran 4:3 There are many reasons and benefits to this. Here are just a few.

The obvious is in times of war when the women population is much greater than the men. Let's use a very popular location for example... Iraq or Syria. Think of all the men who have been killed. What is to happen to their wives? They have children to raise. Also, what is to happen to the young, unmarried women? Many young men have died leaving a major void in their communities. Any men that survived would benefit their society by taking another wife. The situation is becoming widespread as many countries are going through revolutions and the men are being killed. By marrying another wife, he takes responsibility to care and provide for those who would otherwise be unable to marry.

A lot of people at this point say, 'Why can't the women just get jobs?' This is predominately a western way of thinking. To many societies, women DO NOT work. This just isn't even an option for them. A 10 year old son would be considered more likely and obligated to become the provider for the family than the mother. This then creates a whole new set of issues. The boy places importance to earn money over an education. Poverty can also become a problem because the sole provider for the household is no longer there. Polygyny can help protect a community from a decline in educational and increase in poverty.

The need for polygyny isn't just in cases of war or civil unrest. Look at the western societies where homosexuality is becoming more prevalent. This, along with men who are in jail, and men who aren't willing to take the responsibility of settling down to marriage, makes the population of women higher then men. It's in a woman's nature to want to be cared for financially, physically and emotionally. Polygyny takes away the girlfriends, mistresses, and illegitimate children, and replaces it with a home consisting of two parents, and a present father, and a man who isn't sneaking around. The alternative for the woman is what? Staying celibate? Becoming a girlfriend or mistress? Or even worse, practicing homosexuality?

In Islam there is something called athar which is to want for someone something you love for yourself. For example, if you have a necklace, book, or dress that you love, and your friend sees it and loves it too, you give it to her because you want for her what you want for yourself. Not that a husband is an object to be shared... but of course when you are sincere and love your fellow sisters, you want the best for them in this life. If Allah has blessed you with a righteous husband, and he has the means to provide for more than one household, why not encourage him to marry and benefit another woman? It's like saying 'Yes, of course I wish you the best husband, and the best home life... just not with my husband.' To me, there's nothing more beautiful than accepting a co-wife for the sake of Allah.

There are regulations to having a co-wife. The man must provide for each, and fairly. He can't have one wife in a mansion while the other is living in the slums. Also, it's only acceptable to marry more than one women when it's for the sake of Allah, to help her, to benefit her, and not for personal benefit. It's a popular misconception that men with co-wives do it for purely physical reasons. Think about it; he is taking on a whole other household. Adding more responsibility, more bills, more in-laws, more children, etc. If anything, it's more of a benefit for the woman than the man.

Not everyone is capable of having a co-wife, or being a co-wife. Allah is the creator of each of us, and He is All-Knowing. In His wisdom He made it lawful for men to have more than one wife. Although we may not understand, we must be very careful not to question Allah's will. Instead, we should be striving to be more obedient and subservient to Him, and to gain more knowledge.

Please take 7 minutes to watch this link about polygyny. Also, if you have any questions please email askwomen99@yahoo.com

Hijab poem

You look at me and call me oppressed
Simply because of the way I'm dressed
You know me not for what's inside
You judge the clothing I wear with pride
My body's not for your eyes to hold
You must speak to my mind, not my feminine mold
I'm an individual, I'm no man's slave
It's God's pleasure that I only crave
I have a voice so I will be heard
For in my heart I carry His word
Man doesn't tell me to dress this way
It's a Law from God that I obey
Oppressed is something I'm truly NOT
For liberation is what I've got
It was given to me many years ago
With the right to prosper, the right to grow
I can climb mountains or cross the seas
Expand my mind in all degrees
For God Himself gave us LIBERTY
When He sent Islam
To You and Me!

Jesus: following his teaching

Lots of people think muslims don't believe in Jesus, peace be upon him. This is very wrong. Islam teaches that Jesus, pbuh, known in Islam as Isa, was one of the greatest prophets. View this for an explaination of why Jesus can't be the son of God. We call him Isa because this was his real name. Isa as well as all the other prophets spoke aramaic, not latin or english. The letter 'J' is not in the aramaic language, thus the english names Joseph (Yusuf), Joshua (Yusha), and John (Yahia) are incorrect. There is a chapter in the Quran (19) called Maryam (Mary) dedicated to the story of Jesus' mother Mary, her experience, and the birth and miracles of Jesus, pbuh. Jesus is mentioned in the Quran 25 times, while the prophet Muhammad, pbuh, is only mentioned 5 times by name. Muslims hold high esteem and respect for Jesus and his teaching. We believe that Jesus, pbuh, is in Heaven (Jennah) and will return to earth to defeat the anti-christ. Click here for a better understanding of what Islam teaches about Jesus, pbuh.

I'm very curious why it seems people who accept Christianity as the true religion and claim that Jesus, pbuh, is the son of God, aren't following his teachings. I experience first-hand the reactions and actions of people responding to me as a muslimah and I will tell you it's anything but Christian. I'm confused and surprised. Who are we following and obeying? God or the media? God or the government? Where does it say in the Bible and where did Jesus, pbuh, say to treat anyone different badly? Didn't Jesus, pbuh, sit and eat with the tax collectors, who in that time was considered lowest of the low? In Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus, pbuh, answered a question of a Pharisee asking what the greatest commandment is. Jesus, pbuh, answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments." He didn't say love those like you. He said love your neighbors. In Matthew 5:43-48 Jesus says 'You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.'

If you buy into the media messages that Islam and muslims are violent, hateful, harmful people so be it. If you don't find it your responsibility to be educated and have an understanding of Islam, so be it. If you find Islam and muslims the enemy, so be it. However, as Christians it is your duty to obey God. Therefore, you must put your personal feelings aside, and love your neighbors, no matter who they are, even if they're your 'enemies.'

Put yourself in other's places. Would you appreciate being treated differently because of your appearance? Because of your religion? Because of your nationality? America boasts of it's diversity. 'The melting pot.' Suddenly the pot is closed to muslims and I'm challenging you all to question why. I'm also challenging you all to educate yourselves the correct way. To gain knowledge about science, you go to a scientist. To gain knowledge about medicine, you go to a doctor. To gain knowledge about Islam, you go to a muslim, who should lead you to the Quran. If you are secure in your religion and your beliefs, what is the harm in researching Islam? What do you have to lose? Perhaps with genuine education people will know Islam and even if you don't agree or accept it, you will understand it. Fear and ignorance will be replaced with understanding and knowledge. And then it will be easier to love your neighbors.
This is a link for you to explore the teachings of the prophet Muhammad, pbuh (hadiths), the Quran, Bible, articles, and more.

Food for Thought

Im going to do something different with this posting. I am going to put different topics and instead of explaining about them I will post links to short videos from scholars and sheikhs that can explain much better than me what Islam teaches about these topics. This is a way for you all to see and hear from the scholars and sheikhs I learn from. I must say though, that I am very careful of who and what I listen to. As in all religions, there are those who are misguided. I am careful to be sure that what is taught follows Allah's commands in the Quran, as well as the true teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Allah willing, you will take some time out to go through these links to better understand the true message of Islam, and not what is in the news. Please remember, if you're seeking knowledge go to the source, which is the Quran.


Living Islam
1
2
3



Proof of Allah
1
2


Kaaba & Hajj
1
2


Slay the Jews n Christians?
1


Jihad/Terrorism
1
2
3


Jesus, peace be upon him
1
2
3
4


Muhammad, peace be upon him
1
2
3


Marriage
1
2
3
4
5


Men & Women in Islam
1
2
3
4
5

Ramadan and fasting

The month of Ramadan is coming up which means to all practicing muslims fasting. I want to explain all about this. Ramadan is the nineth month of the Islamic calendar which follows the lunar cycle. Ramadan is very important in the Islamic religion because it is when the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was first revealed verses of the Quran, as well this is the first realization that he was chosen as a prophet to Allah. Before his prophethood, Muhammad, peace be upon him, would often go to Ghar (cave)Heira'a to meditate and praise Allah. It was during one of these stays in the cave that angel Jibrael (as) (Gabriel) appeared before the Prophet, peace be upon him. He grabbed the prophet, pbuh, and said 'read/proclaim.' The prophet (pbuh), being illiterate said 'I can't.' This happened two more times until on the third time Jibrael revealed Sura al-Alaq:
"Proclaim! (Read)In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists),Has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood) Proclaim!(Read) And your Lord is the Most Generous, Who has taught (the writing) by the pen [the first person to write was Prophet Idrees (Enoch) Has taught man that which he knew not Nay! Verily, man does transgress all bounds (in disbelief and evil deed, etc.)Because he considers himself self-sufficient Surely! Unto your Lord is the return Have you (O Muhammad) seen him (i.e. Abu Jahl) who prevents, A slave (Muhammad) when he prays? Tell me, if he (Muhammad) is on the guidance (of Allah)? Or enjoins piety? Tell me if he (the disbeliever, Abu Jahl) denies (the truth, i.e. this Quran), and turns away? Knows he not that Allah does see (what he does)? If he (Abu Jahl) ceases not, We will catch him by the forelock, A lying, sinful forelock! Then, let him call upon his council (of helpers), We will call the guards of Hell (to deal with him)! Nay! (O Muhammad) Do not obey him (Abu Jahl). Fall prostrate and draw near to Allah! Quran 96: 1-19

Upon experiencing this, Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, ran home to his wife Khadejah (ra) who assured him he wasn't going crazy. She took him to her uncle who was very religious. He also assured Muhammad, pbuh, that he wasn't going crazy, but that he had been chosen as a prophet of God.

One of the 5 pillars of Islam which I have mentioned before, is sawm, or fasting. Muslims not only fast during the month of Ramadan. It's encouraged to fast every Monday and Thursday following the example of the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh. It is obligatory, however, for muslims to fast during Ramadan. Allah said in the Quran "Ramadan is the month in which the Quran was revealed as guidance and clarification to humankind, and a distinction between right and wrong. So, whoever from among you witnesses the month should fast it." Sura Al-Baqara 2: 185 He also says "O you who believe! Observing As-Sawm (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqun (the pious)" Sura Al-Baqara 2:183 Here are some reasons and benefits of fasting:

-Fasting makes us appreciate and give thanks for pleasures. Fasting means giving up eating, drinking and intercourse, which are among the greatest pleasures. Like the saying goes, 'you don't know what you've got till it's gone.' After refraining from Allah's blessings of food, drink, and intercourse, you become aware of them, so this motivates you to be grateful for them.

-Fasting is a means of giving up haram (forbiden/bad) things, because if a person can give up halal (accepted/good) things in order to please Allah and for fear of His punishment, then he will be more likely to refrain from the bad things. So fasting is a means of avoiding the things that Allah has forbidden. (i.e. smoking, drinking, swearing, lying, cheating, etc.)

-Fasting enables us to control our desires, because when a person is full his desires grow, but if he is hungry then his desire becomes weak. The Prophet (pbuh) said: 'O young men! Whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting one's chastity. Whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.'

-Fasting makes us feel compassion and empathy towards the poor, because when we taste the pain of hunger for a while, we remember those who are in this situation all the time. Then we are motivated to do acts of kindness to them and show compassion towards them.

-Fasting humiliates and weakens the Shaytan; it weakens the effects of his whispers on a person and reduces that person's sins. That is because the Shaytan 'flows through the son of Adam like blood' as the Prophet (pbuh) said, but fasting narrows the passages through which the Shaytan flows, so his influence grows less.

-Fasting increases the knowledge that Allah is always watching. We give up the things that we desire even though we're able to take them, because we know Allah is a constant witness to all our actions.

-Fasting means developing an attitude of asceticism towards this world and its desires, and seeking that which is with Allah.

-It makes the Muslim get used to doing a great deal of acts of worship, because the fasting person usually does more acts of worship and gets used to that.

When fasting we do not eat or drink during daylight hours from dawn until dusk. We also refrain from sexual activities, and from all forms of lying such as gossiping. Those exempt from fasting are people who are very sick, pregnant or nursing (this is up to each individual woman though, and I know several women who have fasted while pregnant and while nursing), insane, old, traveling, or in war. Women who are menstrating are forbiden to fast. Those who need to make up the days they missed fasting are those who were sick, pregnant, nursing, traveling, or in war. Those unable to fast at all because of old age or a prolonged illness or disease are called to feed the poor for each day missed.

In order for your fast to be accepted, you must have true intentions in your heart before you begin. The Prophet (pbuh) said, 'Whoever does not intend to fast before Fajr will have no fast.'

Fasting begins with a light meal known as suhur, which is eaten just before the break of dawn. The Prophet (pbuh) encouraged his followers to take this meal, even if it is only a drink of water. 'Take suhur for surely there is barakah (blessing) in it.' When the athan of Fajr is sounded, this signals the beginning of the fast and one should not begin to eat anything at this point. If one has in his hand food or drink when the athan is called, he should finish eating what he wants from it before putting it down. The Prophet (pbuh) said, 'If one of you hears the athan and a vessel remains in his hand, he should not put it down until he has had what he desires from it.'

Breaking the fast is done right away at the time of Maghrib (setting of the sun.) The Prophet (pbuh) said, 'People will remain happy and prosperous as long as they hasten to break the fast.' It's recommended that the fast be broken with dates and water if available. Iftar, (breaking fast) has become a big meal served after the maghrib prayer. Lots of muslims join together in masjed to eat, or families will gather to share food and reflect the blessings Allah has provided them.

After the month of Ramadan, is a celebration called Eid al-Fitr which takes place on the first day of the following month. A quantity of staple food (usually rice, beans, or meat) is donated to the poor (Zakat al-Fitr), everyone has put on their best, preferably new clothes, and communal prayers are held in the early morning, followed by big meals and visiting relatives and friends. (Think Christmas with the entire neighborhood in attendance.)

There is TONS more information about Ramadan. I just tried to give a quick overview. Click here to read more about it and fasting. Please visit this link to get more details on Eid al-Fitr which is celebrated after Ramadan.

hijab- oppression or freedom?

The topic of hijab, or headscarf, is a big one. Many non-Muslims have the idea that women are forced to wear it by their husbands or fathers or some domineering male in their life. They view the hijab as a sign of oppression. First, let me ask you this. Do you see the habit, worn by nuns in the Catholic religion, as oppressive? Or what about women of other religions such as menonites, and amish? They too have head coverings. For some reason, these women are looked upon with respect for their dedication to their religion. Muslimahs are either looked upon with pity, or scorned for being 'extremists.' Why is it that any other religion is accepted

and tolerated to have women cover their hair, yet not acceptable for Islam's women?

Before explaining why we cover... I have to explain that as Muslimahs we aren't called just to cover our hair, but our bodies as well. Our clothes must be loose, covering all but our face and hands (although it is considered best to cover them as well) not bright colors which attract attention. We shouldn't wear makeup, jewelry, or perfume in public because this beautifies and attracts attention. It shouldn't be see-through. Men also have guidlines for their clothing. It should cover the area between the naval and the knee, be loose, not see-through, not silk, and not showy. Men also aren't permitted to wear gold, and must grow their beard.

The reason muslimahs wear the hijab and cover, is because Allah has ordered us to do so in the Quran. "O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not annoyed..." Quran 33:59

Allah decreed this for us so that we as women are valued for what is on the inside (our thoughts and our character) and not judged by our body. We all know the saying 'if you got it, flaunt it.' When you think about it, that's a very disturbing way of thinking, yet it's accepted, and practiced by many women. How sad that women feel the need to suceed in all aspects of life by their body image. Dressing up, wearing make-up, jewelry, tight clothes that show off one's best assets... this is all done everyday. Society is teaching men it's acceptable to look at a woman's body, to judge her based on her shape first. Where's the respect? "In our society, women are subtly encouraged to pay attention to superficial concerns- looks, appearance, physical attractiveness- and the vanity and narcissism that accompany them. While many people are obsessed with outward appearances, the covered woman is taught by Islam to cultivate a beuty that is far more than skin deep - that of her character, manners and morals. Thus, she is liberated from wasting her time and energy on achieving outward beauty, knowing that it's what is in her heart that will make her truly beautiful." 'From My Sisters' Lips' by Na'ima Roberts pg. 126

"How could I have any self-respect if I found myself, once again, batting my eyelashes or deliberately choosing to wear a pair of trousers becasue they made me look absolutely ravishing? Indeed, I remember thinking to myself, You've grown to rely on your looks in this way for so long- how much respect do you really have for yourself? I had long thought the practice of judging women according to their measurements totally unacceptable (which is why I was dead against beauty contests!) but hadn't we, in our own way, been part of such a system? Beautiful women the world over have an unfair advantage and an easy ticket to social success... The first effect that the hijab seemed to have on us was to encourage modesty- in dress and in conduct. After a lifetime spent showing off our clothes and our bodies, we suddenly felt shy to flaunt ourselves in public. The hijab reminded us of the standards of behaviour that were expected of us as Muslim women. When it came to the opposite sex we no longer felt comfortable having conversations that were too personal or familiar and the hijab made flirting a definite no-no." 'From My Sisters' Lips' pgs. 110 & 111

There are regulations for both genders. Being modest is not just for women. In the Quran, Allah says "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers (father-in-law) their sons, their husbands' sons (step-sons) their brothers or their brothers' sons (nephews) or their sisters sons or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex..."Quran 24:31-32
In this way both genders are held responsible and it's their duty to be sure to maintain high standards of purity, shyness and modesty.

Here is a statement from a sister in the UK; "Sometimes I watch a guy walk past a girl and he'll turn back and look at her legs or her chest and I just think, I would hate that to happen to me. It doesn't appeal to me, it's not flattering. I can't understand how that can make a woman happy. To me, it's nicer when a Muslim brother passes by me and looks down. To me, that is more respectful than someone whistling at my legs."

As I've mentioned in my previous blog, women in Islam are held in high esteem, deeply respected, and greatly appreciated. Allah has called for women to increase this respect by respecting themselves and the bodies He gave them.

Our beauty is something special. By keeping it guarded and hidden, we elevate the significance of our relationships with those close to us, especialy our husbands. Think about it. Isn't it backwards that we dress up for strangers at work, or the grocery store, or the restaraunt, yet the second we get home we're quick to wash the make-up off, and change into the most comfortable pair of sweatpants and old, oversized, tshirt? What message is being sent to the man of your life? That the looks and glances of strangers is more important than his? Islam protects unwanted attention from strangers and strengthens marriages through public modesty.

Freedom is defined as "the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint; exemption from external control, interference, regulation; the absence of or release from ties, obligations." Muslimahs are free from the demands of physical perfection called by society. Our importance and relevance in our environment is based on the truly import... our intelligence and character. Our desire to obey and please God exceeds the need to fit in or blend in with what society has ruled as acceptable. In this way, we are free. I hope the next time you see a Muslimah, or any religious woman covering and being modest, you smile and it makes you happy to know that there is someone who is dedicated to pleasing her Lord over the people of the earth.